1) You will wear the hell out of some yoga pants. My four year old walked into the room this morning and said, "Mom, why are you always in your pajama pants?" "I'm not," I snapped. "These are my yoga pants."
2) You will finish your kids food. Peanut butter and jelly crust. Sure. Apple peels. Why not? Three Goldfish crackers left in the bottom of their snack bowl. This may be your only lunch.
3) Wine time just keeps getting earlier and earlier. When you had a baby, it was after the baby went to sleep. Then it became wine time with dinner. When the baby is about two, wine time gets moved up to while you are cooking. When the kids hit three or four, wine time suddenly becomes 4:00 pm, unless you have a play date scheduled at 3:00 pm and then, well...
4) You vacuum just to get some peace and quiet. Sometimes mom needs some white noise too. When the vacuum comes on, kids seem to wander off and do their own thing.
5) You pretend to need to go to the bathroom when the kids are distracted with something. It feels like sneaking off for a moment to yourself even if it's only to stare in the bathroom mirror and wonder if you should put mascara on before your husband gets home.
6) Sometimes you get dressed and put on mascara right before your husband gets home.
7) You convince yourself that PBS is really, really educational and watching it for an hour or two in the morning, and the afternoon, is OK. Sometimes it's the only way to get stuff done.
8) Walking up and down the stairs fourteen thousand times, carrying cups, books, toys, children and dirty clothes is not really like going to the gym. Damn.
9) Sometimes you make four different meals for dinner. Because you really don't feel like arguing.
10) Sometimes you don't make dinner at all. You serve your kids a hodgepodge of sliced cheese, grapes, teddy grahams, ritz crackers and a piece of rolled up deli turkey. And that's OK too.
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